George Washington, relationship guru? Actually, he gave his step-granddaughters some pretty awesome dating advice. Is he a man of good character; a man of sense?
What has been his walk in life? Is he a gambler? A spendthrift wasteful? Or a drunkard? Sense means sound and practical judgement.
Do your friends like him?
YES: Your guy does do the right thing, even when it hurts. He knows when to say no to that next shot of Fireball and makes smart decisions with his cash. Figuratively speaking. Translation: To quote five of the most preeminent relationship philosophers of the late 20th century: if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.
Yes, we mean the Spice Girls.
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Martha Washington explains why listening to your closest friends will keep you from relationship disaster. Your guy friends have given him the thumbs up in their dude kind-of-way. Let him go and wish him well. Nor conceive, from the fine tales the poets and lovers of old have told us, of the transports of mutual dating Washington friends first, that heaven has taken its abode on earth; nor do not deceive yourself in supposing, that the only means by which these are to be to be obtained; is to drink deep of the cup, and revel in an ocean of love.
Translation: Chicks notorious for being ginormous flirts are doomed to be single forever because no guy will ever take them seriously. Ouch, General. Washington stressed that good character and sense, rather than that wibbly feeling you get around him, is essential in a guy. Translation: The General brings a sobering word of caution here. You set yourself up for disappointment if you rely on another person to make you happy or expect them to somehow bolster your self esteem and confidence.
And ladies, few things in life are more cutting than falling in love with the fantasy guy you've constructed out of nothing but sheer hope. Translation: Spend time getting to know your guy first before committing.
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And when you find a winner and the feeling is happily mutual, zero in on him like the last pair of Tory Burch flats at Nordstrom Rack. Possessed of these advantages, it will be your own fault if you do not avail yourself of them, and attention being paid to the choice of your subjects, you can have nothing to fear from the malignancy of criticism, as your ideas are lively, and your descriptions agreeable. Do not therefore boast too soon or too strongly of your insensibility to, or resistance of, its powers. In the composition of the human frame there is a good deal of inflammable matter, however dormant it may lie for a time, and like an intimate acquaintance of yours, when the torch is put to it, that which is within you may burst into a blaze; for which reason and especially too, as I have entered upon the chapter of advices, I will read you a lecture drawn from this text.
This is true in part only, for like all things else, when nourished and supplied plentifully with aliment, it is rapid in its progress; but let these be withdrawn and it may be stifled in its birth or much stinted in its growth. For example, a woman the same may be said of the other sex all beautiful and accomplished, will, while her hand and heart are undisposed of, turn the he and set the circle in which she moves on fire. Let her marry, and what is the consequence?
The madness ceases and all is quiet again. Hence it follows, that love may and therefore ought to be under the guidance of reason, for although we cannot avoid first impressions, we may assuredly place them under guard; and my motives for treating on this subject are to show you, while you remain Eleanor Parke Custis, spinster, and retain the resolution to love with moderation, the propriety of adhering to the latter resolution, at least until you have secured your game , and the way by which it may be accomplished.
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Who is this invader? Have I a competent knowledge of him? Is he a gambler, a spendthrift, or drunkard? Is his fortune sufficient to maintain me in the manner I have been accustomed to live , and my sisters do live, and is he one to whom my friends can have no reasonable objection? Have I sufficient ground to conclude that his affections are engaged by me? The declaration, without the most indirect invitation of yours, must proceed from the man, to render it permanent and valuable, and nothing short of good sense and an easy unaffected conduct can draw the line between prudery and coquetry.
It would be no great departure from truth to say, that it rarely happens otherwise than that a thorough-paced coquette dies in celibacy, as a punishment for her attempts to mislead others, by encouraging looks, words, or actions, given for no other purpose than to draw men on to make overtures that they may be rejected. The dawn with us is bright, and propitious, I hope, of her future happiness, for a full measure of which she and Mr.
Law have my earnest wishes. Compliments and congratulations on this occasion, and best regards are presented to your mamma, Dr. Stuart and family; and every blessing, among which a good husband when you want and deserve one, is bestowed on you by yours, affectionately….
Shall I, in answer to your letter of the 7th instant say—when you are as near the Pinnacle of happiness as your sister Patcy dating Washington friends first herself to be; 1 or when your candour shines more conspicuously than it does in that letter, that I will thencomply with the request you have made, for my Picture? NO—I will grant it without either: for if the latter was to be a preliminary, it would be sometime I apprehend before that Picture would be found pendant at your breast; it not being within the bounds of probability that the contemplation of an inanimate thing, whatever might be the reflections arising from the possession of it, can be the only wish of your heart.
Having by way of a hint delivered a sentiment to Patty, which may be useful to her if it be remembered after the change that is contemplated, is consummated I will suggest another, more applicable to yourself. Do not then in your contemplation of the marriage state, look for perfect felicity before you consent to wed. Without these, whatever may be your first impressions of the man, they will end in disappointment; for be assured, and experience will convince you, that there is no truth more certain, than that all our enjoyments fall short of our expectations; and to none does it apply with more force, than to the gratification of the passions.
So, Is He a Yes or No? Do Your Friends Like Him? Martha Washington on Why It's Important for Your Friends to Approve Martha Washington explains why listening to your closest friends will keep you from relationship disaster.
He's Not Into You? Don't Waste Your Time according to George Washington: "Have you sufficiently concluded that his affections are engaged by you? No, for real. Calls at 2 a. Martha Washington on Breaking Up The first first lady has some strong advice on how to end it with style and grace. His communication is regular, and he makes an effort to be with you.
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Are You Dating a Financial Wreck? Martha Washington on The Importance of Being with a Financially Stable Guy Martha Washington gives her two cents on why financial responsibility in a partner is essential. YES: Good, because no girl wants to be paying for dinner…for the eighth time this month. The Truth About Marriage according to George Washington: "Do not, then, in your contemplation of the marriage state, look for perfect felicity before you consent to wed.
For the Flirts How to Find "The One" Washington stressed that good character and sense, rather than that wibbly feeling you get around him, is essential in a guy.
Read the Primary Sources. George Washington to Step-Granddaughter Elizabeth Parke Custis, Germantown, PA, September 14, My dear Betcy, Shall I, in answer to your letter of the 7th instant say—when you are as near the Pinnacle of happiness as your sister Patcy conceives herself to be; 1 or when your candour shines more conspicuously than it does in that letter, that I will thencomply with the request you have made, for my Picture?
Is your guy normal, or a nut job?
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