Jessica Levity, 35 and Joseph Daylover, 40, were monogamous for years until a pal mentioned polyamory - having multiple partners. She convinced her soon-to-be husband to give it a go just before their wedding - and they've been dating other people ever since.
Eight years on, producer Jessica and university lecturer Joseph said it's the "best decision" they ever made - and they even go on double dates. They both often date multiple people outside their marriage at one time - dedicating a night a week each where they can let loose away from home.
The loved-up couple have had around 20 other boyfriends and girlfriends between them - and once even shared the same girlfriend. Jessica is dating boyfriend John Poster, 38, a computer engineer, girlfriend Toocha Rose, 38, a fitness instructor and marketing director, and girlfriend Kayci Lynn, 24, a birth doula - as well as being married to Joseph.
We’ve dated 20 other people since getting hitched – we’re open with our kids, it’s the secret to a happy marriage
The couple from Reno in Nevada, USA, who have two children, Azlan, three, and Lucius, four months, said they can't imagine being monogamous ever again and consider dating others "a form of self care". We live in domestic bliss. Jessica and Joseph met in while doing community theatre shows and were monogamous until Friends revealed they were trialling a polyamorous relationship and despite never hearing about it before, Jessica said she "knew instantly" it was for her.
Everything felt like it made sense all of a sudden.
Single reno couples interested in polyamorous dating
Jessica and Joseph often meet other partners via dating website OkCupid, which they explained is their favourite - as it allows a user to select a 'non-monogamy' filter when browsing through members. The couple spend evenings away from each other to go on dates and meet up with other partners, ranging from casual dates to regular partners, and full-blown romantic relationships which lead to falling in love and "could be life-long".
They've comforted each other through tough breakups with others, even shared a girlfriend, and see their other partners as part of their own family - so much so that they would even be open to their spouse's other partners moving into their home.
Joseph explained that at the start, being open with Jessica about their other relationships was a struggle - but he quickly grew accustomed to their lifestyle. Jessica said they're very open with their young children about when they go on dates and their other partners, and will continue to be as they grow up.
They don't feel anything they do is that different to raising children in a monogamous relationship, she explained - and even break-ups that occur between them and other partners is no different to a friend or family member growing distant or moving away. The parents hope that by exposing their children to their relationship model from a young age, it will help to educate them on the different kinds of human connections that are out there.
She said: "We want to teach our kids how to communicate, draw clear boundaries, advocate for what you want in a relationship, and how to recognise when a relationship has run its course, like you might have to with a friend, for example.
They both reckon it's good for their own mental health and gives them a much-needed break from hectic family life. We want to teach [our kids] to live a life that is natural to them, rather than what society says is 'right'.
Jessica insists their polyamorous model actually makes it easier to raise their youngsters - saying: "I don't know how people survive in a nuclear family - it's one of the hardest types of family I have experienced. Their setup means the couple each give each other one night a week off from childcare, which they spend going on dates with other people.
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The couple said they are "open and confident" about being polyamorous - which they acknowledge is partly down to their "privilege" in being a white, cis gendered, heterosexual couple. But they added that many people don't understand polyamory including often getting accused of being "swingers" - and is one of the reasons the pair now host a podcast, Remodeled, about polyamory, which they use to educate others.
But there is no one style - all polyamory is valid polyamory. in.
All Football. Amy Reast. Most read in Fabulous.